Daddy Issues and Divine Masculinity
Ahhhh, Daddy Issues, the joke our society and especially our generation loves... When we think of Daddy Issues, often a hyper-sexualized image of a woman that is labeled a slut comes to mind. Instead of a person who is dealing with trauma as the result of something their father either did, didn't do, or maybe wasn't even there for. With Father's Day here, we want to recognize all those with Daddy Issues who may be triggered by this day.
Daddy Issues are very real, and something that many of us struggle with, no matter who you are or where you're from. For whatever reason, it seems like dad's have been fucking it up for centuries! Which is not to say all dad's are bad and that there aren't some amazing fathers out there, because obviously... there are!
But for those who aren't, let's talk about some things you can do this father's day, to heal some of those Daddy Issues.
Journaling - This will always be my number one recommendation for when you need to work through something, aren't sure how you feel, are pissed off, sad -- no matter what, journaling helps! And if you need a little help, no worries! We've come up with some prompts for you -
What was a time that you can recall where you felt the most let down by your dad? How did that feel? What happened? What did you do?
What was a time that you can recall where you felt the most supported and loved by your dad? How did that feel? What happened?
What incident triggers you the most when you think of your dad? Now sit with that for a second, really think about it. How can YOU show up for yourself in this situation? How can YOU heal?
What do you crave the most with your relationship to your dad?
What type of healing feels the most sacred to you when you think of your dad?
Know that a lot of these questions are triggering.. But facing the hard things and our shadows is the only way to heal them. We cannot continue to run and hide and suppress our feelings, because when we do that we remain unhealed and hurt.
Something else I also want to honor and talk about with men though is the Divine Masculine. Because while there may be some shitty dad's, yes, there is also Divine Masculinity and it is time we call more of that energy into the world. Because hell, the world needs it! And yes, I see those of you who are embodying and showcasing that Divine Masculinity, thank you!
Divine Masculinity is the counterpart to the Divine Feminine. Divine Masculinity is not patriarchal, it’s not controlling, it’s not dominating, and it most certainly is not toxic.
Like Yin and Yang, the masculine and the feminine need each other. And it is not simply black and white. With the Divine Feminine, there is always masculine within and with the Divine Masculine, there is always feminine that lies within. Both equally as important, both need each other.
Too often men are told they cannot feel their emotions, that showing your emotions is feminine and that “real men” don’t do that. Well, that’s total bullshit! If men weren’t meant to have or feel emotions, then they wouldn’t. But y’all do because that’s life, so fucking feel them emotions bro!
Feeling your emotions and allowing yourself the space to heal is something that is more feminine, yes. But when we allow and encourage men to honor and tap into their Divine Masculinity, then they are more okay and confident with tapping into their feminine side.
To learn more on Divine Masculinity and tapping into that energy, here are a few resources we recommend:
Sacred Sons - A healing community and mentorship for men and male identified
Healing our Internal Masculine and Feminine Energies with Sarah Lewis
And no matter where you are in life, remember that nothing you were before determines who you are now or who you are becoming. You have the power to heal yourself, whether you have Daddy Issues and need to heal yourself from those, or whether you are a man who wants to heal their masculinity, you can do it! Through your practices and living with intention, you can help and encourage the men in your life and around you to heal too, because it isn’t until we have more healed men in this world that we will see less destruction and pain.